|Name||James Neil Arber|
|Portrayed by||David Tennant|
James Arber just wants to marry his fiance, the famous Lara Tyler, in peace, away from the Paparazzi. However, everytime they try, they get tracked down by famous journalist Marco Bellani. In desperation, he and Lara travel to Hegg, which he claimed to have visited during his many research trips for his novel, "The Ornothologist's Wife." When Marco Bellani tracks them down and Lara runs away, Lara's agent, Steve Korbitz, chooses Katie to be a decoy bride to let the press think that they have a picture of the happy couple and leave them alone. However, James and Katie accidentally get married for real, and Steve traps them in the newly-repaired castle to keep James out of the way. After they escape, they travel across Hegg to get divorced, however they fall in love on the way. James and Katie get separated at one point, and a deaf couple, who believes that he is Conner Meaghaid, a famous bagpiper, asks him to play the bagpipes for them. He plays terribly, but watches as the deaf couple dance together anyway.
James wrote the best-selling novel "The Ornithologist's Wife." However, he then got a terrible case of writer's block and took years to write his second book. His second book, "(to be added later)" was set behind Spanish Civil war. Before writing his second book however, he had originally planned to write about the end of the world as seen through the eyes of God.
- We could get married in outer-space?
- It's about the end of the world as seen through the eyes of God
- The Hegg book club! Tough crowd!
- I'm doing my own hair this time, because I know what I want
- There could be wolves out there!
- Don't get the bottom of the dress wet! Goodbye!
- You're not ordinary
- Whenever you look at them you find yourself singing, "you are the wind beneath my wings."
- She built me this....gazebo, in the ground..it's where I write
- We've got, so much marketing to do....
- Oh I'm on a sheep stealing raid. Of course I thought I'd grab myself a woman at the same time...but, it's generally, a sheep-snatching thing.
- I spend a lot of time with hermits.
- I don't really like big cat documentaries
- Too bad, you're married, she's married....
- Did I write that? Longingness....that's not even a word!
- Give yourself a wash in a white dress and suddenly everything's about you! This is not your big day Katie!
- Toilet girl!
- Are you going to fight like a man, or just keep throwing puffins at me?!
- Okay buster! Fun's over!
- Before figuring out what he wanted to do with his second book, the first sentence of it was originally: "Jackson Kandinsky awoke from hot dreams of lost things and adjusted his testicular implant."
- On his message machine, James left a note to his publishers saying: "Hello, I'm sorry I can't take your call right now; if that's Random House, I've had a succession of computer issues and an illness, but it's going really well and I'll be mailing some chapters out on the weekend."